Through The Days
by eighteens
Summary: Tori Vega's been battling her emotions for months now. She couldn't figure out how and when she fell in love with Jade West, a twisted mean goth who's been tormenting her since day one. At the night of the full moon jam after singing 365 days with her bestfriend Andre, will she be able to find out how it all began? (Title's been changed from My Story to Through The Days)
1. Now: Prologue (The Full Moon Jam)

_I don't know how I got myself in this situation. __I kept thinking__ about when and where it started, about how it all began, that maybe just maybe, if I was able to find the answers I could __find a way to__ avoid the pattern that led me to this moment._

_I soon found out that it was nothing but a wishful thinking. I tried for weeks, even months to figure out everything, __but no m__atter what I did, __nothing seems to come to mind. __It __was pointless in the end. A__ll it did was bring me more questions to ponder on, making my head hurt from overthinking. _

_I realized then that I should stop. Slowly, I began to learn how to cope with it, and told myself numerous times to just accept the outcome and stop denying it, hoping that it might bring me a sense of justification or a sense of acceptance. Somehow it worked, but as the days go by, I know that somewhere, deep inside_ _me,__ there's a huge part that still wishes to know__ just where and when it began. _

_It's silly, I know I'm being stupid, because even if I knew all the answer to my questions, what would have change then? _

_I'd still be stuck here feeling hopeless all the time, and I'd still__ rant and wallow in self-pity over and over again until I exhaust myself. I'd still be a downer which is sad because I'm not usually like this, because I'm a cheerful person, or at least I used to be._

_I can't remember the last time I felt at ease before all of this happened__, and __I've been in this situation for months now but __I still think about it, like it all happened yesterday. __It's as if I'm still stuck in that particular moment where the universe stood still, __and the state of shock that I felt that day was still buried somewhere deep __inside my mind. _

_There's no easy way to explain it. I can't exactly define what the situation is. I think the closest thing I could compare it to is that, it felt like getting hit with a bus while crossing the same familiar street every day._

_Y__ou were out there thinking that nothing would ever happen to you, and that it's almost impossible to get hit with anything even with a simple bike because you've been crossing that same familiar street for years now that you know it inside out, and yet, __even the most impossible thing can happen, and the next thing you know, you're lying in a hospital bed surrounded by the nothingness of white._

_That's how sudden it is, that's what I feel, that's the kind of feeling that haunts me every now and then. __I know it's still hard to understand, but we're getting there even if my mind is nothing but a jumbled mess. I think the reason why I ended up in this situation is because it got me by surprise, and I didn't have enough time to process how and when it happened, because it just did, and I have to deal with it. _

_I guess I deserved this for not being careful. For being oblivious, for being naive, for not expecting the unexpected that's why I landed here, and it__ would have been easy for me if I could just accept these words_ _wouldn't it? But I couldn't, I couldn't swallow them __because in the end, I always end up wondering if it was really my fault to begin with._

_Is it really my fault for not noticing that I'm slowly beginning to fall in love so suddenly to the point of no return?_

_It's strange because looking back at it, the signs are always there but I chose ignore it. I kept thinking that something as small as this or as small as that was nothing out of the ordinary. What I didn't know was that I was already ignoring the red lights, and the yellow ones because at that point the sign wasn't clear. I was oblivious, too careless, carefree, and not at all doubtful__, and then the next thing I know, I was carelessly crossing the street not knowing that the light was green… and then… that's how it got me._

_I fell, and I fell hard._

_My grandma once told me that love is deceitful, it creates a specific trap, designed to capture you. It will feel natural, almost silent, and you wouldn't even think of it especially when you're always in the same vicinity with that person. You wouldn't have guess that something will develop overtime because it's always been there like some kind of routine. Seeing that person every day is normal, nothing out of the ordinary, until eventually your stare will linger longer and you'll begin to wonder why you're staring in the first place._

_You'll begin to notice the smallest things, even the most minimal ones, like the type of perfume they're wearing, or the kind of shampoo they use. Basically, just anything about that person will capture your interest, even the way they talk, __the way they smile, the way they move or do small things that not everyone may notice,_ _y__ou'll begin to see all of them subconsciously. Silent, deadly._

_They'll become more attractive in your eyes. It's as if you can't believe that they're real and they're made for your eyes to admire and absorb carefully like a fine china, and the sooner you realize this, the faster you'll end up wanting to do anything for them without even asking for something in return._

_It sounds cheeky doesn't it?_

_Hearing all of these from my grandma was weird back then, but now, it sounds like a nightmare that came to life. She was quick to remind me that there's nothing wrong with falling in love, and it would be best for me to let it be, and just fall deeper and deeper until it becomes a part of me, until it consumes me, and burn me with passion. Little did she know that it did consume me and now I'm half insane._

_She was wrong, my grandma is one of the smartest people I know, but she was wrong. Falling in love could be a very bad thing, especially when you fall in love with the wrong person, which is what exactly happened to me…_

_I fell in love with the wrong person._

_I know right, and can my life get any worse? Of course it can, because I fell for someone who tormented me since day one. __I don't want to mention her name, but a certain Goth with an enigmatic personality should have given my thoughts away. I fell in love with someone who will never be at my arm's reach. The one who until now continues to plague my thoughts every day._

_I fell in love with Jade West, and her very name send shivers down my spine._

_She was authentic, the kind of darkness I wouldn't mind blending myself in, and all those languid feelings that I've felt for her eventually tire me out from running, to the point where I stopped caring and let the magnetic pull that attracts me towards her capture me entirely. _

_Now that's the big spill, the moment where I knew that I am trapped in this situation. It's a mess really, and I'm tired of looking for a way out. I guess it is my fault after all, and now I'm out here, thinking deeper and deeper almost drowning in my own thoughts as if I wasn't performing in front of a raging crowd._

_I forgot to tell that it's the full moon jam, and everyone's gathered here at the asphalt cafe to enjoy the free food and performance that the night has to offer. Everyone's bubbling with excitement and energy as I sing my heart out on the stage, and they are thrilled and enjoying the life of the party, while here I am, faking my enthusiasm as they scream with praises and cheer. _

_I couldn't help but wonder __how long can I keep this cheerful exterior. Pretending that I'm happy and free, even when I feel nothing, is a great way of hiding what I truly feel inside, but just how long can I keep this kind of act? __Th__e mere fact that no one ever notice means that the facade must be working, so maybe I am a great actress after all, but on the inside, thoughts of me and her would never leave me, and I almost froze the second that I met her gaze._

_She's currently watching Andre and I, sing in front of the crowd where my eyes are solely focused on her. I couldn't help but be mesmerized at the view of her blue-green eyes. They always manage to strike me with intensity. _

_Someone told me that eyes are the mirror to the soul, and that you'd know what a person is feeling based on just looking to their eyes, but Jade is a different story, she always was, because whenever I look into her eyes it doesn't mirror her soul at all, it mirrors the entirety of the universe and I could see the galaxy of stars roaming around them, and instead of knowing her she only gets mysterious day by day. _

_I guess that's how she reeled me in. That smirk of hers, her sarcasm, the insults, and our usual bickering, all of them made sense now. I smiled bitterly at the thought. __What I'd give to turn back time and be my oblivious self again. _

_I saw Beck's arm wrapped possessively around her shoulders, and I felt a jolt of pain in my chest, is this what getting hit with an arrow feels like?_ _T__hey were cuddled up together while sitting at the hood of Beck's car and they look so good together almost like a perfect match, and it hurts._

_If I wasn't in love with her, I would support them in a heartbeat, but no matter how hard I try to I convince myself I simply can't do it_._ I think that the world is playing a great joke on me because out of all the people that my heart could possibly choose from, it decided to pick a girl with a bitter-twisted soul, and the icing to the cake was, her heart belongs to a guy who actually deserves it and will cherish it with his own._

_It's just so unfair, and who am I kidding? Jade West wasn't all that twisted._

_She's so captivating, that even those who were afraid of her can't take their eyes off once she storms around the hallway walking as if she owns the entire place. She just continues to lure everyone's attention without even trying, she's like a siren, but she doesn't even have to sing, she can just stand there, and stare at you, and you'll know what you're in for. I'm jealous of Beck for noticing how amazing she was before I even came along._

_Jade's lucky to be with him too, Beck is the perfect gentleman despite his good looks and gorgeous hair (which any girl in the campus would kill to run their hands on), I know that he's the perfect partner for her. So yes, here I am, having these kinds of thoughts making me feel terrible and guiltier as if I'm rubbing more salt on my already tattered wound. I mean, I get it, it's obvious that they're meant for each other and everyone can see that, everyone except for me._

_The full moon jam is still packed with students dancing below us as we perform on the stage. We're currently singing the song Andre wrote for Jade, and I'm helping him get rid of his unsure, yet somehow present feelings for her._

_It all began when he called me last night around 3AM._ _I k__now someone who is sane enough wouldn't call me for no reason at a time like that, so I had my suspicion that it must be an emergency and I was right (even though I wish I wasn't). He told me, with panic in his eyes, that he somehow developed feelings for Jade, and I was shocked but then again I wasn't, because it's Jade, who wouldn't fall for Jade?_

_I secretly hoped that the hot chocolate I made for him would change his mind, that maybe this was just a __bad dream, but of course, miracles don't happen, at least not to me. I understand Andre and why he was so troubled that evening because he was Beck's bestfriend. It must be tough for him knowing that he's crushing or developing feelings for his bestfriend's girlfriend, since I've been in the same dilemma once, which is why even if I'd rather stay home tonight, I helped him perform the song that he composed for Jade instead._

_Which bring us back here._

_I heard Andre say his thank you's in front of the crowd and that's when I snapped out of my reverie. I zoned out again, great, I should really stop getting lost in my head. I quickly composed myself before flashing a smile at the familiar faces in front of me. I must be really deep inside my mind that I didn't even notice it was over. I'm glad it was because I just want to go home and sleep the night away._

_Andre and I eventually went down the stage and we soon reached our friends. Jade pulled Andre into a big warm hug, and it made me slightly jealous. Why can't she hug me like that? Oh, right, the girl hates me with every fiber of her soul. __It's amusing to think that she hates me because I kissed Beck during our acting improv on the first day of class, but if she only knew that I was after her and not her boyfriend, would she still treat me the same way?_

_Beck, Jade, Cat, and Robbie eventually went back inside the lobby, leaving Andre and I at the asphalt cafe having a heart-to-heart conversation about his feelings for Jade. He was unsure if he still likes her or not, but by a short lock of surprise, a girl asked him to hang and he immediately said yes._

_I envy him knowing that he can easily move on from his feelings for Jade, but I can't say the same for me. I tried dating but it didn't work, I tried ignoring her but we always get paired by sikowitz, I tried distancing myself but it's impossible since we're in the same group of friends._

_I know that I can't continue being like this, and I know it's not easy but it will always be harder for me to love someone from a distance.__ Just what did I do to end up like this? I honestly don't know. I guess I'll never know, or maybe this is the time where I have to recall everything, right from the beginning, from how we met, up to here, and maybe then, I'll have the answers._

_I don't really know how to move on from Jade West..._

_Or will I even be able to?_


	2. Day 1: Pilot (Then)

I'm still trying to second-guess myself, asking questions whether I'm dreaming or not, that maybe in a few hours or so, I'd wake up and see Trina performing at the big showcase instead of me. Maybe Andre didn't have to convince me to sing in front of everyone, maybe Trinas tongue didn't have an allergic reaction, and that the principal didn't notice me and hadn't ask me to come to Hollywood Arts to study. Yeah, maybe this is all in my head, maybe I'll wake up and tell myself that I need to prepare, and go to Sherwood, where I left my science project undone and that I had to turn in my mold bush.

But that wasn't the case.

I heard the car beep, followed by a loud shut, and I immediately notice that Trina was out of the car. I must have dozed off in the entire car ride while she was blabbering about how fantastic it was to study in Hollywood Arts. I know for a fact that she'd say that since Hollywood Arts is her pride and joy, and now that I'm standing right in front of it, I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that all of this is real.

Seeing the bold letters rendered in orange paint, I could feel another wave of anxiety and excitement wash over me. I never once thought that I'd be here or even set foot in this place, and yet here I am, officially known as the new transfer student.

I've been on edge since I left the house this morning, and hearing myself say that, even just in my head was actually an understatement. Imagine being told that you're one of the luckiest students who were given the chance to study in such a prestigious school? Where everyone else is talented and you feel like you're not? I think the thought itself gave me enough pressure to do my best despite being normal and average.

This school is far more intimidating compared to my former school. In Sherwood, we don't depend on anything but our brains. We have to excel academically while balancing our extra curriculars, but here in Hollywood Arts you can forget about quantum physics and algebra. People here mostly depend on their talents and skills to survive the semester apart from having brains, students use them in the field of creativity and intellect.

I think I can handle the intellect part, but I'm not quite sure about creativity. I mean I only just discovered that I have a knack for singing. God knows what else's in store for me, which is why there's a huge part of me that's hesitant to come here.

I don't know if I have what it takes, or if I really am talented as they say, but my parents are equally supportive and even gave me a brief talk saying that this is one of the big decisions that I have to make for myself. I took their words in consideration, and since I was given the opportunity to study here, I might as well try. After all, I couldn't think of any reason why I shouldn't go, and I enjoyed singing and performing at the big showcase, I'm still excited to know if I'm really cut out for this.

The only downside is that l'll be spending the rest of my high school years with Trina, and you have no idea how annoying she could get, but I'm pretty sure she'll come around and probably won't even give me a second glance since she has her own set of friends to annoy and worry about.

"Let's go sistah sistah!" Trina called out as we enter the double doors of the school.

I honestly don't know what to expect, and thank god I didn't, because this school is so different from the rest I've ever seen. The first thing that caught my eyes were the lockers which are painted in different design and patterns. There are several graffiti on the walls and it definitely gave the impression that everyone here is either crazy talented or creative, or both.

I feel anxious standing here in the middle of the lobby, admiring several students as they do their own thing. Some of them are dancing near the stairs, some are working on their projects and assignments while sitting in front of their lockers, some are chattering near the staircase, and a few students are doing stunts near the vending machines.

It doesn't look like a typical high school and the thought made me feel relieved and overwhelmed at the same time. Trina must have felt how nervous I was since she squeezed my arm gently making me look at her in return. She smiled reassuringly.

"Hey, you're not alone. I got your back" she said, squeezing my arm once again. I smiled back at her, remembering that classes are about to start soon.

"Okay, thanks, so-"

"Trina! Eric Paulson got his hair straighten!"

"Shut up! Oh my god! How did it happen?!"

Before I could get another word out, Trina disappeared with one of her friends and exchanged me for a juicy gossip, leaving me alone in the middle of the lobby not knowing where to go. I sighed inwardly. Typical Trina.

"I'm all alone!" I called out, hoping that she'll hear me but I could no longer see her figure from where I was standing. I stood there awkwardly, feeling more anxious than ever. I started looking for someone who could help me, and that's when I saw a cute little redhead coming down the stairs.

"Hey!" I called out, immediately catching her attention. That seems to be a good sign.

"Can you tell me where-"

"Oh my god! You're Tori right?" she said, cutting me off with a smile.

"Uh huh" I answered cheerfully.

"You were so awesome at the big showcase last night" she beamed. This girl is so sweet... and awfully cheerful in the morning.

"Aww, thanks" I cooed.

"My name's Cat" she said, introducing herself with a smile.

"Oh, like the animal" I pointed out.

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!" she yelled, making me look at her in surprise. I stammered a response, "No-nothing, I love cats"

"Oh yay, me too, they're so cute" she said before turning around, leaving me speechless as I watch her walk away.

What… just happened? Did she just, really leave me here? I think the more time I spend in this school, the more I get confused. I glanced around hoping that someone else could help me, and that's when I saw a nerdy looking guy walk right past me.

I called his attention but he didn't seem to hear me, and he was carrying a puppet in his arms, oddly enough it didn't bother me, at least at first. I tried again, hoping that he would hear me and it worked.

"Hey" I greeted and he muttered a simple hey back.

"Hey, uhm, so I was wondering if-"

"Oh yes! Hi! hello! Female yes" he exclaimed when he turned around to face me. He eyed me from head to toe. It was slightly uncomfortable but I shrugged it off and asked him anyway.

"Do you know where Sikowitz's class is?"

"Oh, uh"

He tried giving me directions but it didn't end well. He was stuttering the whole time and was blushing while rambling at his words. I couldn't understand him, I mean who uses north and south while giving directions?

His puppet intervened and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but he gave better directions than the curly haired guy, so at least that's something.

"Whatever it takes, cupcake" I heard the puppet say as I round up the corner. I gave them both a disgusted glare before walking away.

What is up with this school?

Luckily, I made it just in time before the final bell rang. I'll have to convince Trina to drive me to school early since she has no plan in helping me out with my schedule. It's going to take a lot of convincing, and yeah, it sucks to be me. I glanced around the room and the same thought began to appear in my head, this does not look like a typical high school. I still don't know if it's a good thing or not, but I'm starting to get used to it.

"Ah!"

Oh god, I'm such a klutz. I bumped into someone from behind and it looks like I spilled coffee on his shirt.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry"

I guiltily tried wiping off the stain but it's not working. I tried wiping harder hoping that I could at least lessen the tint but it seems to be getting worse.

"Hey, its okay. You're kind of making it worse" I heard him say. I felt more embarrassed knowing that he was right. He kept telling me it's okay and that he'd fix it somehow, and that's when I finally looked up.

The first thing I saw was his eyes, they were a darker shade of brown. It was darker than mine but still give off a strong and pleasant aura. His hair looks amazing, I think it's one of his best assets and he was smiling at me, he looks so charming. I can tell that he already forgave me before even hearing me apologize.

"DUDE"

A loud yell from the doorway startled us. I backed away from the guy, and didnt notice how close we are from each other. I took a peek from the guy's broad shoulder and saw a furious looking girl, frowning at us, at me to be exact.

"Why you rubbing my boyfriend?"

"Oh I- uh- I'm just-"

"Get away from him" she glared.

"Relax" the guy cooed. He went to the other girl and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I think it calmed her down, but a frown was still visible on her face. I didn't know they were a couple. No one gave me a memo. I don't even know where the bathroom was, or where to go in this dizzying high school.

The girl kept her glare on me, until they eventually sat down at the corner of the room. Other students began filling in the rest of the seats and Andre came in shortly, followed by the curly haired boy and the perky little redhead whom I met a while ago.

"Sup Tori" he greets, I smiled and sat down next to him. It's great to know we're in the same class.

"How's your morning going?" he asked.

"Uh, well, its good" I replied with a shrug.

I mean, if you dont count being ditched by Trina, getting lost in the lobby, getting yelled at by a ditzy redhead, getting ogled by a weird puppet, spilling coffee on a charming guy, and of course, making an enemy out of a jealous girlfriend, then yes, I think all is good...

"OH MY GOD THERE'S A HUGE FIRE!"

Everyone began to panic on their seats. I stood up abruptly and went behind Andre as the other students fled around the room.

"KIDDING, KIDDING!" Andre and I looked at each other. "I just wanted to get your blood pumping, which I did, HA!"

A chorus of complaints echoed around the room. A bald man made an entrance and immediately went in front of the mini stage. He looks familiar, I think I've seen him before. He's oddly dressed and had a strange composure. He's also holding a coconut and was sipping on it.

"Now settle down, settle down" he said, and we eventually went back to our seats.

He introduced himself as Sikowitz. Turns out he's our acting teacher. He briefly introduced me, being the new student at all, and that's when I remembered that I gave him two dollars this morning.

"Why did you give him two dollars?" Andre asked.

"I thought he was homeless!" I replied.

Sikowitz explained to us what were going to do today, and he taught us alphabet improv. I think I understood everything until he told us to actually do it. I visibly turned pale on my seat knowing that he might call me, but he didn't and I was grateful when he picked someone else in front of the stage, and that someone was the girl who yelled at me for rubbing her boyfriend. Her name is Jade, which is fitting for a strong and intimidating girl like her.

Jade stood up and began picking the members for the improv. Never in a million years would I thought that she'd pick me, and that smirk of hers, tells me that this is nothing but a bad idea. I don't know what to do and I can tell that the girl was onto something, but I shrugged it off and went to the stage anyway which turned out to be the worst idea ever, because the next thing I knew, I'm covered in coffee and its dripping down on my chestnut hair.

"Hey! give me back my mom!" I yelled at Andre who was now pocketting my phone.

"You're quitting on your first day of school? Just because of a one mean girl?" he asked.

"It's not just Jade," I replied, "It's everyone"

I told him everything, hoping that he might understand where I'm coming from.

"I dont fit in here with, with all this" I said, motioning at the lockers, at the graffitis, at the vending machines, at everything that isn't normal.

"I don't think Im cut out for this." I added.

He was about to say something, but Cat and Robbie approached us, and said that Sikowitz wants us to go back in class. I told them that I'm not coming back and Cat looked at me with a sad expression. Robbie let out a sigh, and Andre, well…

"You're not normal either," he said. "I see what you did on the stage last night, you're special Tori, you belong in this school"

That was his last attempt to convince me to stay. I only apologized and told him how thankful I am that he's there for me.

"I'm sorry Andre, but I really have to go. This is too much for me to take in. I think I need more time to decide if I want to stay or not." I explained. He understood and gave me back my phone. He asked if I needed a ride home, but I told him that I'll manage and I watched him walk away.

Guess I'll call mom.

"Is it true that youre quitting on your first day?" Trina asked. I heard the door slam shut as she sat next to me on the couch.

"What do you think?" I asked back.

"I think that you shouldn't." she answered.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to be known as the sister of someone who quit on her first day." I rolled my eyes at her response. Of course, typical Trina.

"And because you did amazing at the great showcase." she added. I smiled.

"Thanks, Treen."

"But I would have been amazing" she singsonged while dashing up the stairs.

I shook my head at her tactics. Honestly, Trina has her moments. I continued to watch the rest of my performance and thought if I should go back or not. I don't want to think about it today, maybe I'll find the answer tomorrow morning, I need a break. I'll just let my instinct decide.

I continued to browse through my slap page and saw a friend request from Cat. I smiled. I think I should add the rest of the squad as well. Andre and I are friends already, then there's Robbie, I sent him one. I had to think twice if I should add Rex as well, but I decided to just do it since he might add me once he sees that I sent a request to Robbie. I shortly found Beck's and then… theres Jade…

I clicked on her profile out of pure curiosity and saw that she didn't update her status today. I decided to scroll down and stalk her, which I can't believe I'm doing, but whatever, I'm too curious not to know.

She barely updates her slap page but she shares a lot of…weird and disturbing videos…

There's a video about a grandma falling down on her own wheelchair, there's a video about a guy puking for nearly 15 minutes at a party, and then there's this video about a kid crying while riding an extreme rollercoaster ride. There's a lot of videos about people who are suffering from their own demise, there are also videos about coffee and how to make them, and a bunch of other things like trailers about her favorite movies and their sequel.

She barely gets any likes about the videos she shares but when she updates her slap page, she gets a lot of audience even if they're mostly about her complaining about how her day went. I spent about thirty minutes stalking her and didn't notice till I saw the time. I guess I got caught up watching the videos she shared and reading things about her on her information tab.

I also viewed her pictures, there's not a lot of them, and most of them are only tagged to her. She was smiling in stolen shots and frowning when Beck takes her pictures. What I can't understand is why I can't seem to stop stalking her. I've been at it for more than thirty minutes, and yet I'm still here, browsing through her profile like some kind of book that Im willing to read.

Maybe its because she made a huge impact on me today. I mean she poured a cup of iced coffee on my head for heaven's sake. She also gave me the meanest, piercing glare that I've ever seen in my entire life, and I dont think I'd forget about it soon.

"TORIIIII!" I heard Trina call from upstairs.

"What?" I called back.

"Mom texted me and said that we won't be dining here tonight. She booked a reservation at wang wangs, and Dad's on his way there. Start preparing or I'll leave without you!"

I sigh and got up from the couch. I didn't check if I sent Jade a friend request or not.

\--

**Hellowoo, I changed the title from the first draft of this story. The former title's too cliché for me, I thought I'd be okay with it but, nope, can't do it. So from My Story to Through The Days, sounds more fitting doesn't it?**

**Also, so sorry for the rusty style of writing. I have no excuse. I hope it gets better? Well anyway, see yah and stay safe.**


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